Guilty as charged. I have been lazy-there is no denying it. I mean, this doesn’t include the normal goings on-and the not so normal (ie-massive oak deciding to call it quits in our back yard) but I have been lazy about hitting the blog. After doling out blog luvin’ I kinda just let the old keyboard take a breather. I have been indulging a guilty little pleasure that I allow myself only once a year-a big, thick, juicy, non-theory, non-philosophy, non-self help Stephen King novel-this one being Needful Things. And I needed it!
I feel downright decadent, very much like my 13 year old self, hunkered down in front of an old box fan with a sweaty glass of tea and waiting to have my socks spooked off. Love it! Every summer I give myself permission not to think for a little while and dive into a good read-although, I almost waited too long this summer! A couple of weeks more and I would have ruined the tradition. Fall doesn’t offer the same sense of indulgence for grabbing a flashlight, hitting the hammock , swatting the mosquitoes, and holding my breath as I turn the next page. All I’m sayin’ is I am glad I finally got to it!
In an attempt to have a point to this post (besides self-indulgence) I have to admit that this got me to thinking. Why do I have to give myself permission to have fun? What is it about relaxation, pleasure and simply just enjoying ‘be-ing’ that that resonates with the forbidden? I am pretty sure we were created to enjoy our lives not just slog through the day to day of making a living-LIVING being the operative word here. Not making a ‘working’ but making a ‘living’. What is it that grieves me with guilt when I sit down to a juicy read? What is it that keeps me awake in the middle of the night, my mind whirring with all the must do’s and have to’s while beating myself up over the not done’s?
I would really like a button I could push to turn these things off. To give up control for awhile and let someone else manage the details. Let someone else stay on top of all the ‘stuff’ that crowds my mind and time while I sit down and breathe for a bit. It would be so nice just to ‘be’ and not feel like the ‘Push me Pull me’ (anyone remember that?). There is pull to get back to the roots of peace for me-and that is prayer. I have gotten so caught up in all the ‘should’s’ of my life, which has made it so easy to loosen my grip on some of the things that ground me. So, today I am going to take a breather! I am going to dust of that space inside and allow some light in, make a good cup of tea and have a little visit with an old friend.
I hope you find some time this weekend to visit your peace-it will be So Worth It!