I have been remiss, or rather, missing…


I came across a quote today and I knew I had to post it.  It appears to be a question I have been pondering for quite some time…

Tell me, what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

Mary Oliver

 

I think I am trying to figure this one out!  There is so much to choose from often interrupted by so many obligatory occupations that I feel I can make no headway in any direction.  When faced with the question of what it is I would absolutely love to do for the rest of my life I really cannot pin it down to any one thing.  This lack of focus is taking a bit of a toll in that I reach into all the little things I enjoy but struggle to find the “thing” that would keep me up at night because I couldn’t wait to get up in the morning and get to work again.  Perhaps it is the post-master’s realization that I have no one to please but myself and need to unlearn all that I learned in school. 

Don’t get me wrong-I learned some great stuff and, more importantly, had the opportunity to work with some pretty amazing people (and some pretty lousy ones too-would love to name names but will resist!)  I gleaned some practical knowledge but for the most part I learned about people, and I also learned I have little patience for power seekers, bullies, skimmers, name droppers, back-stabbers, and people who will kiss your ass if they think they can benefit or gain from it.  I suppose these are valuable lessons.  My husband always said I was never one to suffer fools and I think I allowed myself to tolerate them when I shouldn’t have.  I eventually snapped out of it but only after it had really colored my experience-and not in a positive way.  I am recovering.  I am also left with un-answered questions about my un-requited creativity.  How do I allow it to manifest itself?  I am discovering that I have to look back to look forward…

There was one particular individual who influenced me and allowed me backward vision.  Ordinarily this would not be considered a good thing but she took me to the roots of my creativity-my art-and it is to these roots I think I shall return. I will post more later-but, I think it is time I took a good hard look at my work and evaluate its value-shake out the dross and see what is left.  To this end, I am off to a residency-less sure about what I had planned to do but with a hope that I can do some good evaluations and determine the direction I will go….

Here’s to finding purpose in “your one wild and precious life”, I am thinking the answer will be so worth the journey.

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3 thoughts on “I have been remiss, or rather, missing…

  1. Susan Lowden says:

    A couple of thoughts:

    The journey is the reward.

    To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong. (I forget the author of that lovely thought).
    Also, it came into my head after reading Maslow many years ago that if you are able to live life fully in the moment then that is creativity at it’s finest-it doesn’t matter if you are making a meal, caring for a sick child, writing, painting, doing accounting- because you are in the flow of life with no thoughts to the past or the future. And isn’t that where creativity really happens, fully in the moment?

    Susan

  2. Rita Brooks says:

    I love your quote about “looking back to look forward.” I have learned that I have had to “look back, let go, to move forward.”

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