I came across a quote today and I knew I had to post it. It appears to be a question I have been pondering for quite some time…
Tell me, what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
I think I am trying to figure this one out! There is so much to choose from often interrupted by so many obligatory occupations that I feel I can make no headway in any direction. When faced with the question of what it is I would absolutely love to do for the rest of my life I really cannot pin it down to any one thing. This lack of focus is taking a bit of a toll in that I reach into all the little things I enjoy but struggle to find the “thing” that would keep me up at night because I couldn’t wait to get up in the morning and get to work again. Perhaps it is the post-master’s realization that I have no one to please but myself and need to unlearn all that I learned in school.
Don’t get me wrong-I learned some great stuff and, more importantly, had the opportunity to work with some pretty amazing people (and some pretty lousy ones too-would love to name names but will resist!) I gleaned some practical knowledge but for the most part I learned about people, and I also learned I have little patience for power seekers, bullies, skimmers, name droppers, back-stabbers, and people who will kiss your ass if they think they can benefit or gain from it. I suppose these are valuable lessons. My husband always said I was never one to suffer fools and I think I allowed myself to tolerate them when I shouldn’t have. I eventually snapped out of it but only after it had really colored my experience-and not in a positive way. I am recovering. I am also left with un-answered questions about my un-requited creativity. How do I allow it to manifest itself? I am discovering that I have to look back to look forward…
There was one particular individual who influenced me and allowed me backward vision. Ordinarily this would not be considered a good thing but she took me to the roots of my creativity-my art-and it is to these roots I think I shall return. I will post more later-but, I think it is time I took a good hard look at my work and evaluate its value-shake out the dross and see what is left. To this end, I am off to a residency-less sure about what I had planned to do but with a hope that I can do some good evaluations and determine the direction I will go….
Here’s to finding purpose in “your one wild and precious life”, I am thinking the answer will be so worth the journey.