Woefully absent seems to be the state of my blog lately! Keeping busy with life, work and studio makes it too easy to let things drift at times. I also seem locked in a mobius cycle of inclarity (if that is a word!) of just what I am suppose to do with my future. Feeling trapped by the desire to live in my studio and the need to make a living is frustrating at best and infuriating at worst. I know the answer is out there waiting to be discovered. In the mean time I found this reading by Maya Angelou-a profound and beauty filled woman-and even though it is for children its message is timeless for any age…enjoy!
A Breath of Fresh Air….
The sun has shifted and I am sitting in a puddle of spring-like sunshine while I work today-niiiiiice. And, since I am working, AND since the urge to spring clean is starting to take root I decided to ‘spring clean’ my blog! Something a little cleaner, a little more streamlined and a little less cluttered. I would love to hear what you think and if it was a good choice!
I think the ‘spring cleaning’ thing kicks in not just because it is spring BUT because I get that closing in feeling from having too much going on-which, while it is my own fault, is where I find myself. So as I navigate how to clean up this messy feeling I do things like change up my blog, unsubscribe from newsletters and sales info I end up deleting instead of reading, clean out my twitter feed, and, well, you get the pic. It is kind of a good feeling to clean my digital house and the best part is I can sit in a puddle of sunlight to do it! This little clean up is good to do once in a while but it is really a form of procrastination…
Periodically, I get these little internal subterranean rumblings that signal a change is coming and I am pretty sure that this little clean up diversion is an indicator that the Richter scale is about to start picking up the vibes. The last couple of years have taught me that change is an essential part of who I am and this manifests itself in all sorts of ways-and, here is the kicker-I seldom know the direction it will take me! So fear and excitement shake hands and sit down to a little discussion about just how much anxiety I can manage until they finally decide to fill me in on what they have up their sleeves with their other partner, the future.
I try to help others plan for their futures, make solid choices that help them move in the direction they want to go and encourage them to take the steps necessary to make their passion their profession. When it comes to my own plans I am not immune to the same feelings that those I work with experience and I find that when the rumbling leads to the shifts I need to make in my own life I am better able to empathize with my clients. I love this! It doesn’t make it less scary-it just makes me love it more!!
I am going to dig out my hard hat and tighten up my safety belt because who knows what these new rumblings will lead to but I am have a feeling that it is going to be a pretty cool ride….
It feels like it has been eons since I have posted on the blog…most likely because it has been! I have had great intentions of writing but I manage to talk myself out of it and then time just slips away. I have spent a lot of time lately thinking about missed opportunities because I warn my students of the dangers of not taking advantage of unexpected ops and making the most of their time. Ironic that I can encourage them to do this but can’t quite manage to practice what I teach! Aside from the shame face I am wearing I am attempting to unpack this phenomena…
When it comes to posting, or painting, or creating, or writing, or anything for that matter, that obnoxious voice in my head whispers into its tiny little megaphone that whatever it is I have to say, do, make, suggest, and on and on, has no value to anyone else but me. AND, it will probably make me look dumb. AND, I wouldn’t want to do that voluntarily! This insidious little voice becomes magnified each time I give in and skip doing something I was once so excited about and begins to drown out my enthusiasm. Ugh! What is doubly ironic is that I will skip doing something and instead spend time searching for motivational material for my students-exactly how messed up is that!
It is time to muffle the megaphone! Doing-even if it flops, writing even when it sucks, painting when it fails and just putting it out there is the goal I am laying out-nothing grandiose or monumental-just simply doing. Maybe then I can find my way back to that place that usually feels right when I let myself get there!!
So here goes-though the view is nice (we got about a foot of snow yesterday!) it is time to put feet to the doing and to quote one of my favorite quotes…Never, never, never give up. I love Churchill.
Parting words…
Coming to the end of a semester can leave me feeling like I want to provide a little something extra to send along with my students. This is only my second semester teaching at KCAD (I still love every second of it!) but I am already spotting trends in attitude and behavior that minimize my students success and maximize their frustration. So often, they are their own worst critics, inhibitors and stumbling blocks! And, this isn’t limited to my students!
Here is what I will be sharing with them as we go our separate ways…
Everyone defines success in different ways. That doesn’t mean that one way is better than another, just different. The way you define success and how you go about getting there is entirely up to you. Make the choice-because it is a choice every single day-to be the best at what you do-whether a visual artist or a designer. Don’t fall victim to the voices that tell you you are ‘less than’ anything. Only you can do what you do and it is ONLY YOU that can make it amazing. DO THAT. Period.
Figure out what works for you. Do you want to teach? Then work towards that. Do you want to find that dream job? Then do the hard work to get there. Do you want to ____________________? You fill in the blank and then take the steps to get there. You will get out of life exactly what you put into it-kind of like school. Don’t show up? Don’t do the work? Don’t stick with it? Get hung up on the wrong things? Don’t give it all you’ve got? Make excuses instead of progress? Then don’t be surprised when you don’t make the cut, don’t make the grade and don’t get very far.
Remember this though-the path that gets you to where you want to be will not always be the path you think it should be!! Seldom does a career follow a strait line or even a simple arc-it is usually circuitous or up and down, filled with blind corners and unexpected turns. Be open to the possibilities that come from unplanned opportunities. Make the best of these because, ultimately, they are what make you better along the way.
Make choices that will make you the best at what you do: Take care of yourself. Be healthy. Never stop learning. Never stop caring. Make eye contact. Move forward. Do the work. Do the work. Do the work. Find good. Be the good. Make a difference. Give. Receive. Work hard. Enjoy. Laugh and Never, EVER, give up.
I will end with the words of e. e. cummings–and one of my favorite quotes-
“To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”
Amen? Amen.
Where does the time go?
I was responding to a comment on my blog when I realized just how long ago I wrote my last post! *Blog Shame*. I sit before you with my head hung low as my big toe draws circles in the carpet. I don’t know where the time went, well, I do, but I can’t believe how quickly it has gone! Trust me, I thought of writing many, many times but always managed to get sidetracked with all those ‘things’ that need doing. Believe me-all of them good-some of them are even great!
I teach Professional Practices-which means I am helping young artists take the first step to growing their careers after art school. I. LOVE. MY. JOB. I am keenly aware of what it is to not love what you do so I feel incredibly grateful to look forward to every aspect of my work.
After two semesters I am beginning to see certain patterns develop when it comes to attitudes. Some are influenced by the ‘idea’ of being an artist as opposed to the REALITY of being an artist and this creates a bit of conflict. In some cases, a lot of conflict. I remember the philosophy/ideology that permeated my education and it left me confused and frustrated at times. I recall a conversation that went a little something like this:
‘I have to say, this is a nice painting’
‘Thank you.’
‘I mean, you really have something here.’
(anticipatory silence on my part)
‘I hate to say this, but you might actually be able to sell this painting’
?????
One thing I never thought going into art school was that I was doing it for any other reason than than improving what I do in order to have a career. Now, correct me if I am wrong here….Career=$$ to make a living.
One caveat-there are those that make work from a place that is separate from the commercial drive and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that-so, no hate mail please. I respect this. I just happen not to be one of those-I love creating art and I love being paid for it and that isn’t wrong either.
Here’s the rub-often (too often in my opinion) young artist’s are taught that there is something wrong with making money off of your work. Do we educate lawyers and expect them to practice without remuneration? Uh, I don’t think that it works that way. Now passion-that is a different story-whether an artist or lawyer-if you have passion for what you do, then that is all the better AND if your passion leads you to do it pro-bono, then that is a calling and you can’t argue with that. Go for it. If, however, your passion leads you to do it to pay your bill,s then the same goes for you-Go for it.
I try to prompt my students to not settle into waiting for their careers, the galleries (that is a whole ‘nother conversation), the commissions and the offers to come to them. I encourage them to figure out what ‘success’ looks like and then take the steps to get there…here is my ‘last day’ pep talk…
Everyone defines success in different ways. That doesn’t mean that one way is better than another, just different. The way you define success and how you go about getting there is entirely up to you. Make the choice-because it is a choice every single day-to be the best at what you do-whether a visual artist or a designer. Don’t fall victim to the voices that tell you you are ‘less than’ anything. Only you can do what you do and it is ONLY YOU that can make it amazing. DO THAT. Period.
Figure out what works for you. Do you want to teach? Then work towards that. Do you want to find that dream job? Then do the hard work to get there. Do you want to ____________________? You fill in the blank and then take the steps to get there. You will get out of life exactly what you put into it-kind of like school. Don’t show up? Don’t do the work? Don’t stick with it? Get hung up on the wrong things? Don’t give it all you’ve got? Make excuses instead of progress? Then don’t be surprised when you don’t make the cut, don’t make the grade and don’t get very far.Remember this though-the path that gets you to where you want to be will not always be the path you think it should be!! Seldom does a career follow a strait line or even a simple arc-it is usually circuitous or up and down, filled with blind corners and unexpected turns. Be open to the possibilities that come from unplanned opportunities. Make the best of these because, ultimately, they are what make you better along the way.So, make the choices that will make you the best at what you do: Take care of yourself. Be healthy. Never stop learning. Never stop caring. Make eye contact. Move forward. Do the work. Do the work. Do the work. Find good. Be the good. Make a difference. Give. Receive. Work hard. Enjoy. Laugh and never, EVER, give up.I will end with the words of e. e. cummings–and one of my favorite quotes-“To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”
Nothing earth shaking. Nothing new. Nothing more than being willing and open to ‘Do the work. Do the work. Do the work’.
There ya have it. Now that I don’t have to suffer from *Blog Shame* for a while it is time for me to get at it and, well, do the work, do the work, do the work….
Productivity
To prove that I did more than play with sparklers at ‘camp’ I thought I would post an image of some of the work I did while whiling away the days in Maine…
In keeping with my habit of cell phone pics-this is one. It limits the quality of the image and you can’t see the color as it really is but it is close enough to give you an idea. I took the opportunity to randomly select items as the subject matter and see what would happen. This is oil and mixed media on designer fabric-which is reflected in the black checkerboard pattern that I repainted back into the piece. The sides are black and white checkerboard as well.
It was good to take a break from intense content creation and just have a bit of fun. I was able to work on some new ideas as well that will be more intentionally driven and hopefully better for having been put off. I also explored some abstraction and will post those another time.
That’s it for today-the to do list is shrinking for the time being so I must be diligent to continue the trend!!
Peace.
Better days…
I didn’t start out the day thinking I would spend the better part of the morning procrastinating but that appears to have been the outcome. Although, if I must say so myself, my procrastination has been remarkably productive! I have gotten caught up on my email, written a rough draft for a recommendation letter I have been asked to write, run the dishwasher, made my bed and done a variety of other nondescript but highly essential tasks..that probably could have waited. Telling myself to knuckle down and get to work I decided now would be a great time to post on the blog-thus delaying my attempts to check off items on my list. You can count on the fact that I will march my not so little self upstairs and add “Post on Blog” as soon as I finish up!
Today is day two of my return to reality. I had a slow reintroduction on the three day journey home but that didn’t lessen the eye-rubbing, lip biting feeling of doing laundry, picking up, cooking dinner and cleaning up again after not doing it for nearly three weeks. I am a survivor though so I have made it to see another day. I was incredibly fortunate to have had the opportunity to participate in in artist’s residency in the Down East region of Maine. Two weeks of unadulterated art making, nature hanging out with and total self evaluation that has left me regenerated, invigorated and more myself than I have felt in at least two years.
How often do you get the gift of shaking the dross off and refocusing on what matters. Learning to miss, to long for something is a gift in and of itself. Ennui can creep in and steal away, bit by bit without you noticing, aspects of what makes you whole and replace it with a disinterest that inhibits relationships, creativity and joy and I spent two weeks of brushing it away. Life is pretty much the same as I left it but it is me that has changed a little and I pray that I am able to maintain this feeling for as long as possible.
Images courtesy Kris Sanford-a wonderful photographer and terrific person!
On our last night together at the residency we were helping the photographer in the group do a few fun shots with light and someone got the idea to spell out ‘Golden Apple’ which is the name of the residency (click on the “Apple” photo and you can check it out). There is something magic about sparkler’s and a group of unobserved artists that makes one feel like a kid again-too much fun with marshmallow’s to boot.
I plan on posting more about my experiences but my clock is telling me that my procrastination is becoming a problem. Time to make some progress on my to do list and get to work…here’s a quote for your day-
The trick is to ENJOY life. Don’t wish away your days, waiting for better ones ahead.
Marjorie Pay Hinkley (via Holstee)
